I know, I know, I never posted about the baby shower. I procrastinated and now not only has Ella already been born, but she also now 11 weeks old. Oh and my husband is home from Afghanistan! He's been home since Nov. 4th. (4 days before Ella was born)
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| Seeing my big belly for the first time in person :) |
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| Look at that HUGE belly! |
Now on to the birth story part - Ella is so amazing, but if I could go back and change anything it would have been her birth... (before you read this know that I have NOTHING against anybody else's decisions for their childbirth, that is not my business. This is about my daughter's birth and how it affected me.)
When I was 39 weeks pregnant the doctors at the military hospital told me they would not allow me to go past 41 weeks. My due date came and went and my husband came home from Afghanistan 7 days later! How amazing is that? We were so, SO incredibly lucky that he was going to be home for her birth. I was scheduled to be induced the day after he came home (Tuesday), but when we went for my NST we told the nurse that he just came home and needed to renew his license so he could drive me; so the nurse rescheduled the induction for that following Friday. (My NST turned out awesome, they said I even better than perfect amount of fluid, that her heartrate was great, and that I was even having some contractions).
I was two days away from being 42 weeks, and I was so hoping that Ella would come naturally. I had done a lot of researching; I wanted a doula, a birth photographer, a natural birth, delayed cord clamping, and placental encapsulation, but I didn't get any of that.
I tried everything but castor oil to try to induce labor and nothing worked. I finally lost part of my mucus plug (yes it's gross, but part of labor) the day before I was set to be induced and still nothing else happened. We called the hospital Friday morning at 6 AM and they told me every bed was full and they would call me when I could come in. Talk about nerve wracking! We cleaned up the house, watched TV, and finally at around 10 AM they called me and told me to come in before noon. I was stalling and still messing with stuff around the house, but my husband told me we should go ahead and go in. (I was past my due date and still I was terrified of the thought of actually having the baby come out! I just wanted to close my eyes and have her be in my arms, lol!) I was extremely nervous and extremely scared, but I listened to my husband, and the hospital, and went in for induction. I got dressed, got in bed, and the nurses and doctors started coming in to check me, take blood, and put in my IV port. I was 80% effaced and 1 cm dilated. I wanted the least invasive induction method done first so we went with the foley bulb. I wasn't able to move around much and was very uncomfortable. They wanted to start pitocin to get things moving a little faster, and I agreed to it so we started a low dose of pitocin. Eventually they offered me some pain medicine that would let me sleep and I accepted. Finally after a few hours, a nurse came in, tugged on the foley bulb and it fell out; I felt 100x times better! I was now 4 cm dilated, but I wasn't going fast enough for them (why can't birth be natural anymore?) so they turned up the pitocin. My contractions got really intense very quickly. I tried walking around, and getting on the yoga ball and it was still awful. Every time a contraction came all of the pain was in my back and literally took my breath away. It felt like my back was breaking and I could barely move. At one point when I was laying in the bed a nurse came in and checked me when I was having a contraction and broke my water on accident (talk about painful!). There was meconium in the water and they said they needed to make sure it didn't get any darker.. I finally asked for an epidural; something that I absolutely did not want to happen, but there was no way I could get through all of those contractions over and over again if I had the choice. Once I got the epidural I was stuck in the hospital bed and wasn't able to do much of anything on my own (not like they let me walk beforehand anyway, which they should have). They made me twist into a bunch of uncomfortable positions to try to get Ella to move down. They came in and said they couldn't get a read on Ella's heartbeat and put in the scalp monitor, and eventually came back in to put in the contraction monitor beside her. Finally I got to 6 cm and they said that her scalp was swelling and not allowing her to come down and that they would give it a little while longer to see if she would come down. The next time they came down, they checked my temperature and said that I had a fever from an infection in my cervix (probably from checking me practically every single time they came in the room) and that the meconium was darker. The doctor told me that they would give me antibiotics and that at this point she recommended a c-section; this was my nightmare! A c-section was the last thing I imagined would happen. (Fun fact: I was the 4th c-section during the time I had been there). I was scared, and didn't know what to do so I listened to her and agreed. As they were prepping me I had to wake up my husband to let him know that I was going to have to get a c-section. I asked if I could bring my doula in to take pictures and they told me that only one person could come in so I made my husband grab the camera to take pictures. They put a stronger medicine in the epidural and it immediately made me start shivering really hard.
I felt like I was in a movie as they put my hairnet on and wheeled me out of the room and into the operating room alone. I wasn't able to move so they had to help me get onto the operating table. They strapped my arms down, outwards, and I laid there shivering looking up at the huge lights above me while the doctors and nurses set everything up. My husband finally came in and sat beside me right as they were about to operate. They told me they were about to start and the doctor made a small cut, I guess because I didn't scream, the doctor kept cutting. The first cuts pinched badly, I asked my husband to ask them if that was normal and the doctors said yes. The more they cut into me, the more it burned. I said that it hurt and the anethesiologist gave me some medicine that made me forget the whole thing. I remember waking up, and talking to everyone in my room (husband, mom, sister, and doula). I asked about the baby and my husband told me that she had red hair and I didn't believe him and made him show me the pictures! The whole time after I woke up from surgery is a little groggy, but I remember that after a while my sister left the room and came running back in saying that they were bringing her to my room. After she was brought in, my doula helped me attempt breastfeeding for the first time and Ella latched pretty quickly. I don't remember much after this. My husband told me later that right when I woke up I cried while saying "I don't remember what she looks like" and that it made everyone in the room sad haha. He also said he could hear me moaning from pain as they finished the c-section. It's crazy what happens during times you can't remember.
I ended up with nothing that I planned for. I didn't even get to encapsulate my placenta because it was sent off for testing. All of my plans went out the window, and all of the things I didn't want to happen, happened. I still feel sad when I think about my daughter's birth because even though I thought I was prepared to tell the doctors "no" when they wanted to induce me so I could have the birth I planned for, I feel as though I was scared into getting induced. I wish I would have done more research before giving in and watched more of the "Business of Being Born" episodes. If we are able to have another child in the future, I will definitely be trying my hardest for a VBAC. I know that I am
incredibly lucky to even be able to have had a baby! She is my tiniest best friend, and my heart is filled with love for her. Anyway, this post is more like therapy to me than anything. If you even made it through this incredibly long post, thanks for reading!
(Let me add that I definitely recommend getting a doula! My doula wasn't able to be there for the birth unfortunately, but when I was in labor she was amazing. Words of support help immensely and sometimes there are things that husbands just don't understand (even though you need them there as well for a different kind of support). Also, we are almost three months breastfeeding strong now and even though we are currently experiencing a seemingly never-ending growth spurt, it has been amazing and I'd love to do it for as long as Ella wants.)
Here are some pictures from the night Ella was born...
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| My husband getting ready after I left for surgery. Lol |
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| My brand new baby girl. |
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| Little squish. |
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| Nov 9 3:34 AM - 8 lbs 3.9 oz 19.5" long |
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| So teeny! |
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| Ignore all of my pregnancy chins haha. |
